Oh-So-Ordinary

It was more painful than I would have thought- seeing my Mom in isolation, because of precautionary measures at The Home where she is living.  She was so weary, that she often refused or just could not open her eyes.  From eating independently, she went to needing someone to feed her, regularly.  To enter her room, I had to “gown up,” put on protective gloves and wear a surgical mask.  I do know that a number of things conspired against her during this past difficult week.

She got the flu vaccine.  (I am not interested in having an argument about whether or not this is helpful.  I am just stating it as a fact).  She started on a new medication that we hoped would work well with Aricept, in at least slowing down the progressive nature of the Dementia.  Some residents had gotten the flu, so Tamiflu was administered.  Mom had a head cold, which worried me as I was concerned that it would go down into her chest.  This is the week that was.

Visiting her today, I was so relieved to find her smiling, chatty, and witty.  I told her that her youngest son would soon be 5o years old, and that I was already 60.  She gave me that: “You’re kidding me,” kind of look, out of the corner of her eye.  Then I asked her: “And how old are you, Mom?”  Her answer: “I don’t really know.”  So I started counting: “70, 80, 90.”  “That’s far enough,” she said, and laughed out loud.  Music to my ears, was this bubbling-over joy.  I told her she was 94 years young.

I reminded Mom that we had made a deal, a few years back.  She still gets her hair coloured and she had asked me: “If I stop colouring my hair, will it be silver like yours or will it be a boring grey?”  I had to tell her the truth: “More than likely, it will be mousy-grey, Mom.”  We agreed that she would keep colouring her hair until she turned 95.  Her grin told me that she was delighted not to have yet reached that age.

Our lives are really made up of oh-so-ordinary days.  For Mom, it is now oh-so-ordinary moments.  Transforming one of those moments into a sweet and touching event is one my greatest of joys.  When I had been in to see Mom while she was sleeping, I simply held her hand and sang hymns.  Tears flowed- bittersweet tears.  A grief almost too painful to bear, mixed with the sublime realization that in Christ, all things have been made new, even here and even now.  And, this worthwhile life will soon be transformed to a much higher plane.

In Christ alone, my hope is found.  He is my light, my strength, my song.

This Cornerstone.  This solid ground.  Firm through the fiercest drought and storm.

What heights of love.  What depths pf peace.
When fears are stilled.  When strivings cease.

My Comforter.  My all in all.  Here in the love of Christ I stand.

~ Stuart Townend ~

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RCeSOY5tisI

Enough Love

Je suis si bienvenue; si connue. 

Dans la royaume de Jésus.

Aimée d’un amour éternel.

Si bienvenue.  Si connue.

So welcomed; so well- known.

Part of His kingdom; Jesus on His throne.

Loved with everlasting love

I am so welcomed; so well-known.

Abundant Love

Today, our pastor spoke about God SO LOVING THE WORLD, that He gave His only begotten Son, (Jesus).  We’ve often heard that if we just loved God more, we would be automatically serving others, giving generously and worship extravagantly.  But this morning’s message turned that on its head.  The bottom line: If you could only grasp HOW MUCH God loves you, it will then lead to all of the above.  I especially appreciated the 5 instances where Pastor Pernell pointed out how John the Apostle preferred to call himself: “The one whom Jesus loved.”   Hence, John’s love, service and worship were based on Jesus’ love for him, not John’s worked-for, works-based love for God.  John got it right and so can we. 

Serving a vulnerable population means putting yourself out there; loving people because I know that God loves them; advocating for others, because of their intrinsic worth in Christ- who loves us and gave Himself for us.  Honestly, it means I have nothing to lose if someone does not love me back; just like Jesus!  And, quite frankly, those living in The Home, (in long-term care), may not always be able to show gratitude or love in some grandiose way, but they sure know how to hug and smile and hold on to your hand so tightly that you can’t possibly leave.  That’s the mindset I want, as I visit in The Home.  That’s the kind of abundant love and life that Jesus speaks of when He said: “I came that they might have life, and might have it abundantly” (John 10:10).  That’s the Saviour who I want to know more and more- meeting with Him in prayer and learning more of him through His word, the Bible.

Given that our prime motivation can be solidly based on God’s great love for us, how can we apply this to being a volunteer at The Home?  I’ve been thinking that a partial list may help you to consider spending some of your time volunteering there.  Looking at 5 domains, we’ll see that many modified programs provide opportunities for residents to enjoy and give exciting prospects for your participation.  We’ll look at a separate “Community Outings” list in our next post.  

The categories can be somewhat interchangeable, and my Mom has been pretty much game for anything.  Even though it has been difficult to see her change, because of Dementia, she can still participate in so many ways.  Her favourite activities – dancing and organizing items.

Physical:  Fitness classes, bowling, floor hockey, darts, pool noodle volleyball, giant Kerplunk, parachute, kickball, dancing, recycling, decorating, wheelchair rides, chores, walking group

Spiritual:  Church programs, Bible studies, choirs, meditation, yoga

Social:  Kitchen helpers, cooking, movies and popcorn, bingo, lunch groups, Spa days, Happy Hour, dance groups, painting, quilting, knitting, monthly birthday parties, special meals where family members   join their loved one: Christmas, Easter, Valentines, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day.  Lip Syncs.  Yes, The Home where Mom is living has had a Christmas Lip Sync for the past few years!

Emotional:  Music therapy, pet visits, singing, live music, manicures, Day-Care visitors, meal-time, holding someone’s hand, singing one-on-one, reading old stories, showing old pictures, campfires

Intellectual:  Reading group, puzzles, crosswords, writing letters, trivia, scrapbooking, arts and crafts, painting, Pictionary, card games, organizing, sorting, newspaper discussions

It is hard to imagine that you could not find some way to help!  You would be part of a team and soon enough, you would feel that both the residents and the staff are your extended family. 

Will you find out just how much God Loves You? 

And will you invest His love, by visiting at The Home?

70 Years

 (Mom ~ 24 years old)

Mom was having a hard week, with a lot of confusion and fatigue, to the point where she had to be fed; she couldn’t feed herself.  I thought I was prepared for this, but my heart ached so, as I sat beside her, held her hand and sang Christmas carols.  Tears were not far and even to speak of it brings them nigh to the surface.  This blitzkrieg on my Mom may be from a TIA- Transient Ischemic Attack, sometimes known as a mini-stroke.  It could be the tipping point from vascular dementia to Alzheimer’s Disease, or some other unknown reason. Whatever it is, it is gut-wrenching.

It’s at times like these that I am grateful for the daily dedication of the staff in The Home-their care, their love, their concern.  For those of us who have loved ones in The Home, we also need reminders that our community has not abandoned its seniors.  In James  1:27, we are told: “This is pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father, to visit orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself unstained by the world.” Do we need a better reason to visit or volunteer in The Home?

While gathering some things to decorate Mom’s room for Christmas, I was reminded that this journey we are on is not a lonely one.  The Creator, (John 1:1-3), the Sustainer, (Colossians 2:16,17) and the Saviour, (Matthew 1:21) is with us.  Coming across her old Christmas sweater, I cut it down so it would fit in a picture frame.  I told Mom: “Every time you look at this you can remember skating across ‘Lac à Innocent’ on your way to school.” She was so happy.  And the fact that she can touch it makes the memory all the more sweet. 

                                                   

                                                                (Mom ~ 94 years old)

Some days, Mom is still able to feed herself, enjoy some dancing and carry on a conversation.  How I hope they will not diminish in number!  Having her at home with family, on Christmas Day, was beyond special.  There are no guarantees about the future, except that we are all getting older.  There is a seniors’ health care tsunami coming, and in case you hadn't noticed,  none of us are getting younger.  By volunteering now, you may well be preparing yourself for the future, creating memories to bring you through the golden years of your life.  Mom could testify to this, as she visited at The Home right up until she moved there, a little over 7 months ago.  Here's hoping one of your New Year's Resolutions will include The Home.

Mary's Journeys

To whom would a young teenage pregnant virgin go for support, counsel and a shared understanding of the miraculous?  When the angel Gabriel told Mary she would be with child, he added an important fact:  her elderly, up-to-now barren relative, Elizabeth, was six months’ pregnant.

The First Journey

So Mary takes her first journey from Nazareth all the way to the hills of Judea, (anywhere from 80-100 kilometres), where she spends her first trimester with Elizabeth.  When God has a plan, He misses nothing.  His provisions are marvelous, even today.  You know, I often wonder about their conversations.  I wonder about the marvel of Elizabeth’s statement when Mary first greets her: “Blessed among women are you, and blessed is the fruit of your womb!  And how has it happened to me that the mother of my Lord should come to me?  For behold, when the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the baby leaped in my womb for joy.” (Luke 1:42-45) And I wonder about Mary’s response, the one we call “The Magnificat” (Luke 1: 4655).  She quotes from Hannah’s Song, obviously well-known to Mary; one that was poured out from Hannah’s heart some 1100 years before, at the birth of her son, Samuel; a son long prayed-for and long-awaited as Hannah had been barren.  And Mary returns to Nazareth, to be told they will soon be heading back to Judah.

The Second Journey

In reality, we don’t know how far along Mary was in her pregnancy when they had to leave for Bethlehem.  The Roman emporer, Augustus, wanted more revenue and cooked up a mad scheme to make everyone return to their home town for a census, and of course, to then be taxed.  But God had a much bigger plan and when He has a plan, He misses nothing.  You see, Bethlehem was prophesied by Malachi to be the town where the Saviour was to be born.  How to make sure Mary and Joseph and the baby-in-the-womb Jesus would be there on time for the long-awaited Messiah’s birth?  Somehow, we have gotten into our heads that they arrived in Bethlehem, camped out in the stable and Jesus is born that night.  All we do know is that Mary was at least three months’ pregnant and it had been a long journey.

They made it to Bethlehem, the “City of David,” but there was no room at the inn,  “And it came about that while they were there, the days were completed for her to give birth” (Luke 2:6).  The first visitors were those shepherds, of whom I wrote in my December 13, 2017 post.  But what about those wise men?  They did not show up until two years later.  The star, shining in the east, led them to the house where the child was, with His mother, (Matthew 2:11), and they delivered their gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh.  Having been warned by God in a dream to not return and report to Herod where they found this born King, they went home another way, and Herod was so incensed that he had his soldiers slaughter all the male children two years old and younger, who were in Bethlehem.  But in the meantime, Joseph, Mary and Jesus went on another journey.

The Third Journey

Along with the opulent gifts they had received from the wise men, the little family fled to Egypt, where they stayed until news came that Herod was dead.  I wonder if Mary and Joseph thought about how their ancestors had lived in Egypt 2000 years earlier?  Did they think about Moses and how he led the Israelites back toward The Promised Land?  Would they, too, be able to go home?  But God had a much bigger plan and when He has a plan, He misses nothing.   You see, it had been prophesied by Hosea: “Out of Egypt have I called my son” (Hosea 11:1); their journey home had already been foretold.

The Fourth Journey

Scholars generally agree that they stayed in Egypt for up to six months and made a cautious return, first to Judea and then ultimately back to their home town of Nazareth.  A Mom, a step-Dad and a two-year-old boy journeyed from Egypt to Nazareth, well over 200 kilometres.  I wonder if they sang?  Did they have enough money left over from the wise men’s gifts, to buy provisions?  On at least two occasions, we are told that Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in heart.  So many journeys but she would no doubt say that they were all worth it. 

The greatest and most difficult one had yet to happen: Jesus being led up Calvary’s mountain, to die on a cross.  Was Mary’s heart prepared even for this?  I’m sure of it, as she herself had prophesied in her song: “...My soul exalts the Lord, and my spirit has rejoiced in God my Saviour” (Luke 1:46,47).  She knew from the beginning that the baby she was carrying would be her Saviour and while she may not have known the plan, God did, and when He has a plan, He misses nothing.   

Will you trust the One who has taken the most arduous of journeys, for us?  His death and resurrection are enough to save us from our sin and bring us true hope and true joy.  And whatever journeys I may take, one thing I know for sure: Jesus will be with me every step of the way.

I will falter.  I will fail.

But Jesus’ mercies towards me

Will always prevail.

Those Shepherds

Housecoats and headbands with a staff in hand; this is our modern-day version of those Christmas shepherds, watching their flocks by night in the fields of Bethlehem.  An angel, in a sky of blazing glory, tells them not to be afraid, as they are receiving the Good News of the birth of the Saviour, Christ the Lord. They would find Him wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manger.  Their response: “Let us go straight to Bethlehem…” (Luke 2: 8-20).

Looking to history, I think of Moses, (born 1,500 years before Christ), who took care of sheep for 40 years and then lead the nation of Israel out of Egypt.  He said: “The Lord your God will raise up for you a prophet like me” (Deuteronomy 18:15), namely Jesus. I consider King David, a shepherd from Bethlehem, born approximately 1,000 years before Christ.  He wrote: “The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want” (Psalm 23:1); the Lord to whom he refers is none other than Jesus.

Fast-forward to the stable.  The Good Shepherd, (John 10:11), the Chief Shepherd, (1 Peter 5:4), was lying in a manger- the Lamb of God, (John 1:29).  Sleeping in the feeding trough of lambs and sheep, cows and donkeys.  It is no mistake that lowly shepherds were the first visitors at the stable; they would later rejoice in the one who is known as that Great Shepherd, (Hebrews 13:20).  

As my pastor recently stated: “Humility changes the world,” and those shepherds at the birth of Christ had front row seats to the greatest event in history.  As Christmas approaches, amidst the hurry and scurry, the hustle and bustle, we would do well to let our pride have a great fall and embrace the One who said: “I am meek and lowly in heart and you shall find rest for your souls” (Matthew 11:29).

This Christmas, my Mom won’t wake up to the sounds of family in the kitchen, Angel Kitty purring under the tree, and the smell of turkey cooking in the oven.  She will be home for Christmas Day, and for that I am grateful.  She will be embraced by the Shepherd who became the sacrificial Lamb; the one who died on a cross and rose again, to save us from our sins and give us hope for every day.  For those celebrating Christmas in The Home, will you visit them and remind them of the Lamb; the One who is their Shepherd?  

From Mom and I:

Merry Christmas ~ Joyeux Noël
(Photo credit to Michael Carty)

The Waiting Manger

Christmas decorating is on full-tilt at The Home.  Trees and lights, snowmen and Santas, garland and tinsel, wreaths and holly.  And then there is the Nativity scene, without the Baby Jesus; the empty manger is waiting for Christmas eve.  It made me wonder – how many residents will wait for visitors this Christmas; visitors who do not come?  I don’t see Mom every day, and she is often watching for me.  I can only imagine her angst at Christmas, if no one came.

Sometimes, a different visitor can make a big difference.  Before one of the visiting baby rabbits ended up on Mom’s lap, I could tell by her flushed cheeks, hurried speech and tremulous voice that she was anxious.  Staff told me that she had been exit-seeking; wanting to go home.  They did not say: “You are home, so calm down!”  Instead, they took her for a walk, and she met the wee bunny. 

“Is it for sale?  Can we buy him and take him home?”  The negative response disappointed Mom, but she was so much calmer, and ended up helping with the decorating.  By helping, I mean she spent most of the afternoon with a ‘Country Santa.’  She was, after all, fixing his clothing.  Anxiety was gone and going home was forgotten.  She was not pleased when the decoration was placed amidst the Christmas décor.  “I thought I might keep him.”

So there I was, caught in that place of sorrow over her anxiety and her obsession, for hours, on one decoration.  Then it dawned on me that, for Mom, the Country Santa was a present, and she was in the present, in the moment, and that is what mattered.  I remembered the waiting manger.  2,000 years ago, The Promised Visitor had come; the one for whom the whole world had been waiting- Immanuel- God with us.  I remembered that Mom is not defined by dementia; she is defined by God as “the apple of my eye” (Zechariah 2:8).  I remembered that Jesus still waits for people to come to Him, by faith.  Yes, come to the lowly manger in a stable all forlorn and meet the King of Kings.  He is waiting for you.

I walked away rejoicing, and yet saddened by the thought that while a furry friend was a helpful visitor for Mom, and the long-awaited Messiah had visited us here on earth, there may be residents who might have someone else’s pet as their only Christmas visitor.  I would encourage you, friends- be a visitor; be a volunteer and bring your pets.  Don’t keep someone waiting.